I (re)joined the gym recently.
I'm actually going too. Makes a change, I'd joined the same gym three times previously in the last 10 years but hadn't managed to stick at going. In fact, I have gone more in the two weeks since I joined this time than I did in the six months I was a member two years ago. The place is the same, I suppose I am different.
Different because at 28, it seems that the combination of not walking to work, having delicious two (or three) course lunches whilst out at work and then eating a proper meal in the evening and a newly developed taste for alcohol that I didn't have in my early twenties means that at the beginning of the year, I was ten pounds lighter than I am now. Different because I now struggle to fit into at least four of the suits I got earlier in the year.
There are TV's built into the treadmills and there is a pool with 4 types of jacuzzi, 3 types of steam room and a sauna to motivate me to get through.
I have also noticed that the gym is a fascinating place to people watch. It seems that people are split into groups.
I should say to begin with that there are quite a lot of totally normal people at the gym. People who have been going for years, who turn up, do their workout and go home. They're friendly and knowledgeable and helpful. These are the people who go to the gym because they enjoy it. Which is weird, but not as weird as some of the groups I'm about to get to.
Then you have people like me. The people who are there because they have to be to try and resolve some weight/health/fitness issue. We all look much the same. We have our shiny new gym kit, our shiny new mp3 player and are keeping our heads down. We do not want to make eye contact and we certainly do not want to chat.
Next up, you have the Mums who appear to go to the gym as a social activity. They tend to travel in pairs and go on machines next to each other. They don't push themselves exceptionally hard and spend the entire time they are there talking about their kids or their husbands. They occasionally break from this to bitch about the mother's of their childrens' classmates.
After that, you've got the teenage girls. These, generally don't need to go to the gym and look as though they exist on approximately ten calories per day. They also travel in pairs, tend to either wear far too little (tiny shorts, bra tops etc) or totally inappropriate clothing (deck shoes do not equal trainers) and also like to have giggly chats with the meatheads. A typical move for this group is to be on an exercise bike close to the free weight section, cycling upright with their hands on their hips to ensure that everyone sees them.
Speaking of the meatheads. I find these the most fascinating. Groups of men, perhaps "packs" is a better word. They don't do any cardio, they spend their time by the free weights. They have horrendous technique. You're supposed to lift weights in a slow, controlled manner. You are not supposed to fling dumbbells around in the air. It is stupid and you risk injuring not only yourself, but other people around you too. They also do not use the mirror for technique (which is what it's there for). They use it to pose. They swear like builders and fall into two age groups - late teens and scrawny with a bit of muscle and mid to late thirties who wish they were powerlifters, act like they are power lifters but as someone who actually works for a company that sponsors weight lifters I know that they are so very not.
Finally, the last group I want to discuss I like to call the "Gym Weirdos". These are the people who do not understand gym etiquette or generally behave oddly. Note, this applies to men more than women. For example, if you go into the gym and want to go on the treadmill, you look around and see where the free treadmills are. At my gym, they are pretty spread out. If there are a lot of spare treadmills you DO NOT get on one next to someone else. It is just not done. It is creepy. Also, if you are wandering around with your t-shirt tucked into your tracksuit bottoms, doing two reps on a machine or standing around watching people intently, you are also a gym weirdo. Likewise, if you are 50+ and wear speedos to the pool, pulled up like an 80's high-leg swimsuit, you fall into this category. It is horrendous. Don't. We don't want to see that. Ever.
One other group I'd like to mention in closing are those women in the changing rooms. You know the ones. The pre/menopausal women who are at a point in their lives where they are totally comfortable with their bodies and you know that's great. Really. We all strive to that level of self-confidence. The thing is, I'M not comfortable with your body. Especially not if you are trying to have a conversation with me. Seriously. Put a towel on. Please. Don't just sit there. I don't want to be reminded that this is the level of sagging I can expect in 20 years time.
So yeah. I'm going to the gym three times a week. It's hard and I'm not really seeing major results but that's because I'm not pushing myself too hard. I know that if I try to do too much, I'll hate it and quit. At the moment walking for an hour at 5-6k/h on the treadmill then a splash in the pool suits me fine and once it becomes easier I'll up it a little to 6/7k/hour. Then who knows. Maybe I'll run.
But not for a while.