...Think, Think, Think...

A Picnic in the Park

I hate London in the summer.  I hate being crammed onto the tube with people who have no idea aout persona hygiene.  People who have been passed by by the notion of deodorant.  People who don't respect your personal space.

The streets seem busier somehow.  More shoppers ambling.  More tourists stopping dead in the middle of the pavement to read their maps.  This frustrates me the most I think.  there are a billion cabs in london - get in one, then you don't need a map.  If you absolutely must go on foot, move to the side of the pavement, next to a building (but not in front of a door, moron) and check your map there.  do not stop suddenly in front of other people who know where they're going and don't have time to dawdle.  Eventually, one (likely to be me) will lose their rag and shout at you.

That aside, it was one of my best friends' birthday's yesterday and we had a picnic in soho square.  The weather was gorgeous and I can honestly say I have never seen so many posing gay men in such a small space.  They were everywhere.  Granted 40 or so of them were in our group, but there had to have been at least 200 more around us.

I love to people watch.  The boys were playing "cock or no cock" which I'd never played before.  Fun.  I kept noticing gay couples that matched.  I don't know if they did it on purpose, but an awful lot of them had very similar outfits on.  It was cute, in a "they've lost their individual identity" sort of way.  I learned that there are gay chavs.  I had no idea.  Twinks, bears - I know of these..but gay chavs?  Weirdest thing I've seen in ages and totally doesn't fit within my stereotype (although perhaps thats my problem and not theirs).

We drank a lot (Pimms, Bucks Fizz and various flavoured Vodkas were on the go) and ate picnic food consisting mostly of sausage rolls and crisps.  I learned that I photograph much better with sunglasses on and its my eyes that tend to let me down in pictures:

L to R thats Lewis, the birthday boy - me in the middle - my new pal Dwaine on the right.

I also found that deet smells disgusting and doesn't taste much better. My friend's other half had worn a yellow t-shirt and all insects in the W1 area seemed to think he was pollen and something had to be done. 

Our entertainment was in the form of a rather unfortunate bearded homeless man.  He was loitering in the park - which makes sense, the park is nice on a sunny day - drinking a can of stella, dribling in his beard and crawling around on the floor so everyone got to see his arse.  Three times I saw it.  Scary.  Hi disappeared for a bit and then came back in the early evening and proceded to puke on the grass - full on out of the nose hanging from his beard puking at that.  when we came to leave, we had all sorts of food left over and I decided it'd be wrong to waste it so i stuck it all in a carrier bag and gave it to him.  He didn't say anything and I can't imagine a bag of sour cream and pepper crisps, a bag of Hickory BBQ crisps, a pot of salsa, a bottle of lemonade and a carton of cranberry juice is really what he wanted but he took it anyway.  On the train home I realised that it was a small price to pay for such entertainment, so everything there went full circle.

I managed to do all of that, get home at a decent hour and this morning I don't have a hangover or sunburn.  A good day all in all!

Happy Mondays #1 - Intro / Beauty Products

A while back, I had an idea for a weekly post that would push me to update more regularly.  My biggest problem with the blog is while I love having it and reading back over things I've writen, I'm astonishingly bad at updating it. 

In part, thats because there really isn't anything much happening in my life.  I go to work, I come home, I watch TV. Lather, rinse, repeat.  Occasionally I do something exciting like go out to eat, but at the moment its mostly the same routine.

Naturally, that can drag you down a bit and certainly make you lose sight of how fortunate a position you're in.  Which brings me right to this weekly post thing - Happy Mondays (every time I say it I hear the piano intro from "Step On", by the way).  Each Monday - or at least some Mondays - I'm going to post about something that I'm grateful for or that makes me happy or that I just discovered and totally love.  I guess some of the posts will be fairly shallow, others might be a bit more deep and meaningful.

First off, I'm going with something that makes me happy - all things beauty.

I am a make up junkie.  I'm completely, totally, hopelessly addicted.  I buy endless bottles of body lotion.  I have 3 lots of shampoo/conditioner on the go at any one time.  I drool over beauty websites like HQ Hair or MAC for hours on end.

I've posted about this sort of thing before, I think at one point I had a photo of the collection up and one blogger suggested I seek help.  I didn't, of course, and my collection keeps growing.

I should probably explain my reasons behind my love of the stuff, just because I realise that I'm in a minority here.

I don't wear much make up on a daily basis.  I'm happy enough and perhaps fortunate enough that I can get by with a bare face and for that I genuinely thank every positive force in the universe.  In spite of this, I love what make up promises.

Its the promise of outer beauty.  The notion that a bit of this here and a bit of that there (skillfully applied of course) can turn you from "meh" to "wow!".

I love being able to change how I look with a smudge of eyeliner or a slick of lipgloss.  I'm very excited about how a carefully placed line of white eye pencil along the bottom rim of your eye makes you look awake, or a pale pink highlighter pencil can lift your brow.

I am constantly on a quest for the next best thing, the holy grail product that will turn me into a supermodel in a nanosecond.  Its not out there yet (but with technology who knows!) and so I'll keep searching.

Luckily for me, I've been able to find a couple of products that I now can't live without and for anyone who is interested, they are;

Liz Earle Cleanse and Polish - the beauty editors darling, the best cleanser I've ever used bar none.

Laura Geller Balance N Brighten - Powder/Foundation/Concealer combo, perfect for every day and goes on in one sweep.

Clinique Lash Power Mascara - It stays on.  It doesn't smudge or flake.  It washes off with warm water.  Its a miracle in a grey and silver tube, is what it is.

Carmex Lip Balm - Nothing touches this stuff.  Good for chapped lips, or cuticles too.

Nivea Nourishing Hand Cream - Smells like holidays, possibly because I'd used Nivea Sun Cream in the past, but thats beside the point.

If anyone has any beauty recommendations they want to share, I would love to hear them and also if you want to share what's making you happy this week that would be cool too!

Transportational Perjury

Is it wrong that I lied to a taxi driver yesterday?

I got into the back seat and groaned in pain as I sat down.  He asked what was wrong and I explained that I'd been cleaning all day on Sunday and seemed to have pulled several muscles (I omitted the part that they were thigh muscles - I don't want random cab drivers thinking about my thighs).

He asked if I was cleaning up after my kids.  I said no, no kids.  He gave me the usual "Well, one day you'll want them I'm sure."  I politely explained that I wasn't very maternal and he asked how my boyfriend felt about that.

So here's where the lying starts.  In my home town, there are lots of cab drivers.  The majority of them, while extremely polite, don't speak much english.  I quite like that.  I just want to be driven wherever i'm going.  I don't always want to chat.  The ones that do speak english always, literally always, bring up the boyfriend thing and I'm tired of explaining "No, I'm single.  I'm pretty happy with that.  No really.  I'm not a freak or anything.  Just don't have a man in my life."

So...I reply "No, he's fine with it.  We're both young anyway." - Lie #1

Cabbie - "Fair enough.  Do you own your house or rent it?"

Me - "We rent, it means you can just up sticks whenever you like - its nice to have that sort of freedom." - Partial Lie #2.  The house is rented, but by my parents.

Cabbie - "How long have you lived together?"

Me - "Erm....about a year now.  Something like that" - Lie #3

Cabbie - "Don't sound too sure will you"

Me - "Well, time goes by so quickly doesn't it!" - Technically this isn't a lie.  It does.  Live-in boyfriend or not.

By now, we've reached my house.  I tipped and got out.  I always tip the friendly cab drivers.  Even if they are a bit nosey.  I know he was just making conversation and he genuinely seemed like a nice bloke.  I feel a teeny bit bad for lying, but not as bad as I'd have felt screaming "YES, I'M SINGLE BUT I'M NOT A WEIRDO" in his face at a roundabout.

I think I did the right thing...

Why, as a general statement, I am not a plant-lover

On my lunch break today, I went to the supermarket.

Nothing unusual about that.  I wandered about with a colleague.  Bought a salad for my lunch.

Began a conversation with said colleague about how the woman with the newborn behind us looked really unhappy and that of late all the women with newborns I've seen looked unhappy and how I was noticing a pat...

At that point, I was interrupted by a tree branch.  Which hit my just on my hairline.

I should have been looking up, not down.  I shouldn't have worried about tripping on the funny metal grate at the bottom of the tree.

Initially, it was all quite amusing.  My colleague laughed a lot.  I laughed too.  That was while the adrenaline was surging.

5 minutes later, back at the office.  No more adrenaline.  Red mark on my head.  The shakes.  MAJOR headache, worsening by the minute.

Pathetic reason for coming home early, I know. I'd expected my pride to be most dented but it wasn't, it was my forehead.

I now have to try and not sleep until the headache goes, apparently I have to be careful I don't have a concussion.  I don't think I do.  I just have a new-found loathing for trees.  Or possibly the people who plant trees right outside supermarket exists, I'm not sure which.

Single Woman Plight - Bank Holidays

For those of us who work, we all know how incredibly precious a bank holiday weekend is.

That one (or two) days off which don't eat into our holiday allowance for the year, that let you have a long weekend and a bit of a chance to decompress and have some fun.

Mine started so well, had a lovely girly night on Thursday with some dvd's, some vino and a curry.  Yesterday I just chilled out in anticipation of going out today with a friend.

The rant that follows is a fairly common one for me.  I'm a single girl in a social circle composed almost entirely of couples.  The few single people I do know are women a fair bit older than me and consequently we go out to have a chat and a laugh rather than to meet people. 

A significant part of Single Woman Plight (SWP) in the couple-crowd is that you never see your friends without their significant other.  Obviusly for the coupled friend this is the way they get to compromise and see both people at the same time.  I'm cool with that.  For the single friend, its being reminded that you're single and not having time alone with your friend to chat about things really important to you because you're aware their partner is there.

Today, at about 12:30pm I text the friend with whom I'd made plans to see if we were still going to do something.  I got a reply saying he felt like crap and could we pass on it today.  Okay, thats fine.  You can't help being ill.  But could you have told me sooner than lunchtime so I could have made alternative plans?

Consequently, I spent most of my day wallowing in bed/self pity wondering how one goes about expanding their social circle to avoid situations such as this one.  It'd be nice to always have a back up in place so if one person lets you down you have someone else to see.  I suppose its a little bit like dating two people at the same time.

Another element of SWP is that you never seem to get to meet other single people.  I'm not really looking to date at the moment, but meeting another person in the same boat might be nice!  I think its actually harder to meet new platonic friends than it is to get a date, particularly as the internet is rife with websites trying to pair you off.

Apologies for the whinge, loyal readers.  I'm just p.o'd that I've wasted an entire day of my life in bed alternating between episodes of Ed, Edd and Eddy and The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron:Boy Genius.  I'm not knockin either programme, I love both, I'd just rather have done something a little more social/constructive with my day.

Getting Lippy

Dad, do you think this lipstick is too much?

Erm...yeah.  It is.

I thought so.  Its a bit heavy.

Yeah, makes your mouth look really big.

Hmm.  I do feel a bit like a painted doll.

Its more like blow-up doll.

I'll change.

Haircut!

Ok, so this isn't tomorrow.  This is 5 days late.  I am a naughty blogger and at the gates of bloggy heaven I will most likely be banished to blogger purgatory.

Here are a couple of pictures of the new haircut.  Yes.  I am completely posing and yes, they're horrible quality photos but thats what you get for buying a phone because its shiney and has blue lights that flash on the side when you have a text message, rather than it having a half-decent camera.

Still, you get the general idea of the haicut.  I'm still not sure about it.  I don't think I ever will be.  I don't hate it, I just don't love it either.  It did give me an oppurtunity to change my profile picture to something recent.  The old picture was pushing 2 years old!

So there you have it.  The new do.

Ive had a genius idea for a regular sort of post, so starting Monday I'll begiving that a whirl.  Mostly just to see if there's any chance of me blogging more than once a fortnight.  Ha.

In the Last Week I have...

• Colour Co-ordinated my underwear drawers.
• Made (and failed to complete anything on) a to-do list.
• Eaten 3 of these .
• Discussed how Denis Leary's No Cure for Cancer is actually still relevant now - 15-ish years from when it was originally performed.
• Bought myself this little lovely.
• And this one too...
• Had 4 inches cut off my hair  - pictures to come.
• Not blogged, barely bagged, and pretty much fucked Facebook right off.
• Watched this and been pretty disappointed by the whole affair.
• Come to terms with the fact that my favourite jeans (that I got in Topshop for £38 about 6 years ago) really are dead now and will have to be replaced.
• Been unable to find replacement jeans that live up to the aforementioned Topshop jeans.
• Promised myself I will learn the words to this song by heart
• Contemplated Yoga.

Tomorrow...photos.

Snapped

Today I had some trivial good news. Vincent Lecavalier has just snapped a 12 game no-scoring streak.  Its the end of the season.  They won't make the playoffs, but this small NHL snippet has made me very happy on a Sunday evening which is being spent dreading the prospect of going to work tomorrow.  You see, I love Vinny.  He seems like a sweetie and in almost all the pictures i've ever seen of him, with the exception of the one on that link, he's a total fox.

Other than that, the piercing is healing nicely and I will be writing a post every day this week to make up for not writing one for the last two weeks.

Changing State

I'm not feeling like myself lately.

Looking at it objectively, I've been mildly depressed for the last two months.  I don't really want to do much other than sleep.

I'm not happy at work and it feels like every which way I turn to try and resolve it I'm met with a brick wall.  I feel like no matter what I do I can't win.  Outside of work, I don't have anything going on and so all I'm doing is working and sleeping and with every day that passes my level of frustration grows.

I'm usually fortunate enough to be pretty confident about my looks.  I usually feel like a pretty girl with a decent figure.  Lately I feel fat and frumpy and just a monster.

The worst of it is, when you feel like that you're too tired and beaten down to do anything about it.

I went out to try and get some air today.  I walked around the shops and bought useless boring work necessities - new blouses, tights, invisible underwear to go under a pencil skirt thats too tight for the normal kind of underwear. I bought a book - "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" - I spent half an hour in the book shop looking for inspiration.

I realise that what I need is something to change my state.  For any dog lovers reading, you may be familiar with the dog trainer Cesar Milan.  He has all sorts of methods for getting dogs to behave and although most of them relate to getting the owners to behave first, there is one in particular that I'm trying to use.

When I dog is stuck in a particular mindset - overexcited or aggressive or whatever - he uses a technique of a very quick shock, like a quick tug on the lead or a sudden "shh" sound to snap them out of it and to try and get them into a calm submissive state. I don't know if calm and submissive is the state I need to be in, but calm is a good place to start so I'm trying to find a way to snap myself out of my moping.

I decided that I needed some sort of adrenaline rush to jolt me back into real life - even if its just for a short while.  Today, my way of doing that was to get a new piercing.  I had my belly button pierced.  I've had it done a couple of times before and so I knew exactly what to expect.  It didn't hurt as much as it had done previously because they used some sort of numbing solution.  Although I didn't feel the physical pain I was expecting (which I figured was going to snap me back to reality) it did help and I felt better afterwards for a little while.  I don't suppose its the ideal way of lifting yourself up because eventually you're going to run out of places to pierce, but today it was a bit of a help.  Maybe a motivator to get me to take better care of my body.  Eat better, maybe exercise a little bit.  Tone up the stomach so I can actually show off the piercing.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a brighter day.  I don't want to keep feeling like this.  Life is too short.