...Think, Think, Think...

#100 - Where Technology and Dolly Parton conspire against me

This, according to Typepad is my 100th post.

Thats not strictly true as i've had at least two total culls where I've been through and deleted some or all of my archives.

As I've (not so subtley) implied in recent posts, I'm not the happiest of bunnies at the moment.  At work, I got promoted, but there are elements of the job now that frustrate me more than I ever thought they would.  I won't go into detail here, I haven't even discussed them with my boss because at the moment I'm trying to ascertain whether its my expectations being too high or a real problem.  I will say that while I'm trying to sort my head out there has been a point in each week where I haven't exactly been ecstatic at the prospect of getting up and going to the office.

Most mornings, unless I go in very early, I walk to work.  Its 15-20 minutes from my house and provides me with the only exercise I get.  I can't walk in silence because I find the sound of my own neuroses to be totally mind numbing, so I always have an mp3 player with me (currently a red Sony NWZ-S638which I love!) and its mostly filled with rock.  Metallica, Queen, Nickelback, RHCP, Seether, Theory of a Deadman, Three Doors Down.  That sorta stuff.  There is the odd bit of cheesy pop, R&B, Rap, Jazz and even some country too.

Every morning in the last week, within the first 4 or 5 songs the "intelligent shuffle" has given me the same some.  I don't know how.  I don't know how it considers that shuffling, but every morning one of the first songs it picks to play for me is 9 to 5 by Dolly Parton.

Ironic, no?

Moving Up (a bit...)

I got promoted this week!

I've never been promoted before, so its pretty exciting.  I'm actually not going to be doing much different day to day than I do at the moment, except now I actually have the authority to do some of the things that I've wanted to do for a while.

Its a little bit weird as I've been promoted from within the team and I think some people feel a bit put out by it.  I could be reading into it too much, but only one person out of the 3 others in the team congratulated me and I'm pretty sure that she has no idea how much that meant to me.

So, all I have to do now is not get megalomaniacal about it all and I'm golden.

I realise that sounds easy for most people, but given the overwhelming frequency with which I begin sentences "when I rule the world..." it may be harder than you'd think.

For example..

"When I rule the world, there will be snipers waiting to take out people like that" - In reference to a man just stood at the top of an escalator.  Just stood there.  Not even working out where he was going.  Just standing.  In the way.

"When I rule the world, there will be a weekly reward for the smart people.  They'll be put in a wooded area and given their choice of weapon.  They then have one hour to shoot as many of the strategically placed stupid as they can.  If they get enough, they get through to the bonus level." -  I'm not going to tell you what is in the bonus level, i'm pretty sure you'd abandon my blog if I did.

"When I rule the world, i'll be sending all those idiots down to the minors.  They don't deserve to be playing for the NHL.  That much talent and they waste it.  They should bring up some kids from Norfolk and give them a try.  They couldn't do any worse." -  In reference to the appalling season the Tampa Bay Lightning are having.  I think the system is win 1, lost 20.  Something like that.  All I know is that after the last couple of weeks the can give the playoffs a huge smooch goodbye because they have no chance. Not that I'm extremely angry about it or anything.

Non-Specific Post, Rant, Aims & Playlist

I'm having one of those days today.  You know the ones where you question whether its even worth you being where you are?

I feel like that at work today.  Things are bothering me and I've had a brief temper tantrum which led me to go and stand outside for a moment just to cool off (takes a lot to push me to this, but its what I do rather than find the person who caused the problem and beat them).  I've now hit the point of apathy.  Where you realise some brick walls aren't the right ones to bash your head against.  No one really wants a bashed in head, after all (although some people really are asking for it at times!).

Right now, I'm supposed to be at lunch.  I'm not hungry.  I didn't feel like walking out to get food.  I'm sitting with my ipod on, blocking out the buzz of office noise with assorted rock.  My playlist is at the bottom of the post, just in case anyone is curious as to what I use to calm down.  As music goes, its not that calm.  I will have to eat at some point this afternoon.  I've got crisps, half a box of Mint Poppets (I think these are like Junior Mints for anyone the other side of the pond) and there's definitely a Strawberry Cornetto in the freezer because I bought it on Tuesday and didn't eat it then.  Its not Ice Cream weather but who cares.

I've managed to achieve one thing on my list below which was to get Google Reader up and running.  How did I not do this sooner?  Its genius.  I can't quite explain the joy of not having to have 30 tabs open in Firefox just to check and see if someone has updated.  It means I can actually check my regular blogs more regularly than once a week because it allows me to be lazy and do what I need to do at the same time.  I'm very impressed.  Perhaps I ought to try and do more things on the list, perhaps they'll impress me too!

I've been in search of my first "For Dummies" book and couldn't find what I wanted.  I really want "Scientology for Dummies".  I try not to make wild stabbing judgements on religious ideas until I've read something about.  It seems that they aren't really up for the whole "For Dummies" thing.  Instead, I gave in and bought Dianetics off of ebay.  It'll probably just sit on the bookshelf with all of the other crap I buy because I love books but don't read.

I've got some ideas for posts in my head, so I'm planning on increasing my post frequency somewhat.  While looking hungrily at the Smitten Kitchen blog, I realised that I have quite a lot of food-linked memories.  I suppose most of us do, its the whole sense thing.  I can think of at least three different stories at the moment, although there's a possibility I'll only post two of them because perhaps the third is a little disgusting to share.  Athough maybe the disgusting stories make the best reading.  We'll see...

Playlist, in the order the ipod spewed it out:

Whiplash - Metallica
Cats in the Cradle- Ugly Kid Joe
Buddy Holly - Weezer
Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Tears for Fears
Breathe - Nickelback
Glory Box - Portishead
Redneck Woman - Gretchen Wilson
Get Inside - Stone Sour
The Pretender - Foo Fighters
Duality - Slipknot (given my mood today, I fully understand the notion that pushing ones fingers into ones eyes is a great source of relief from assorted bullshit)
Keep Hope Alive - The Crystal Method
Shout - Disturbed
The Hand That Feeds - Nine Inch Nails
Through Glass - Stone Sour
Stacked Actors - Foo Fighters
Good to Go - John Corbett

First Day back, I think they missed me

I get called a couple of different names at my job.  My boss used to say I was a drama queen, but I think I've mellowed a bit in the last few months.  One person thinks I should be called Boots because of my fixation with both the shop and the shoes, she also tends to call me "Bethlehem" (which serves only to remind me of carol concerts at primary school where *every* damn time the word came up in the song my classmates would turn and look at me).  Another person calls me Scrable because I know lots of long words.  Today, we added a new name to the list.  Really, its quite special:

Male Coworker 1:  Alright Beth?  How ya doing?

Me: Erm, yeah.  Whats up with you?  You seem unusually happy?  Get laid at the weekend?

Cue brief conversation about why he should or shouldn't be happy and reiteration that he was just being nice

Male Coworker 1: "Awright Treacle?  Awright Darlin?" - is that better?

Me:  Thats more like what I'd expect from you, yeah.  Although to be honest I hate being called treacle.

Male Coworker 2:  Of all the women that I could think of to call treacle or darling, Beth is the lat person I'd think of.

Male Coworker 1: Why?  What else would you call her instead?

Male Coworker 2:  I dunno.  Battleaxe.

Cue gasp of mock-shock on my part followed by laughter from everyone who overheard.

I like Male Coworker 2.  At least I did until then.  Shortly after that, he came over and asked if he could have one of my crisps (I gave him the rest of the bag) and then just as he was leaving at the end of the day, the subject comes up again as we recount the story to a couple of people who didn't catch the live version:

Male Coworker 2:  ...but you know I was joking.  We went to the shop together at lunchtime and we chatted.

Me:  Yeah, we did.  About your mate and his girlfriend and about your shopping yesterday.  And then we come back and you called me a Battleaxe.

Male Coworker 2: Yeah but I didn't mean it.  I'm sorry.  Have I really offended you?

Me:  No, thats fine.  I hadn't been mean to you all day, I even gave you crisps in spite of it.  Wounded.  Wounded I am.

Male Coworker 2: Oh come on..you don't really have an emotional side do you?

Me:  ...

Male Coworker 2: I think I should probably go home now...

Male Coworker 3: Yeah, quit while you're behind mate.

Some holiday that was...

This past week i've been off work.  Its been my first break since May of this year and here's a rundown of what happened.

Monday
I cleaned the bathroom and upstairs landing.  It really needed doing.  I'd tried waiting for my mother to do it.  She didn't.  Then I wondered if the fairies might.  Nope.  Did it myself.  After that I decided I was going to bake.  I made a whiskey fruitcake and the fruit sank to the bottom.  I shan't make fruit cake again.

Monday Night, 10:30pm or thereabouts
My throat started to feel a bit sore.  I spent a few minutes with my mouth open staring in the bathroom mirror to see if my tonsils were enlarged or anything.  I wasn't sure either way as I don't know what tonsils look like in a normal state.

Tuesday
I decide to go shopping in London.  Throat is still bad, made worse by my anger at the tube strike, which I didn't think would be that bad.  It was and I totally disagree with the notion of striking but thats another rant for another day.  I found that you aren't meant to chew Nurofen Meltlets, you're meant to let them melt.  I bought make up, cleanser, underwear, not that any of it was really necessary. I was kindly given a lift back from London by a married colleague who everyone thinks I'm screwing that I'm not.  Apparently, this is the price you pay for being a pretty girl who makes friends with the boys - you're the subject of lots of gossip.  Okay, I'll be honest. I've played up to it a bit. So has he, although he actually flirts with everyone.  Sometimes though, its just so easy.  Trust me, if you have a slightly squeamish colleague teasing you about this sort of thing, ask them if their desk is sticky.  If it plays out for you like it did for me, you'll seldom see an office worker move so damn fast!

Wednesday
Sore throat has now transformed into a temperature, headache, general aches and a cold.  I don't get out of bed today.

Thursday
See Wednesday. 

Friday
I made it out of bed.  I went into town.  I bought some Lip and Cheek Stain from The Body Shop.  I watched Annie Hall - twice, once this morning and once this afternoon.  I've become obsessed with learning to bake.  I found out that white chocolate brownies are called blondies.  Makes sense.

Isn't that an exciting way to spend a week off?  5 whole days of precious holiday allowance wasted.  I'd actually rather have been at work ill than at home ill.  I'd rather get paid for it than waste holiday.  Fortunately, I've still got a week in October and a week in November to make up for the lack of lunches, museum/gallery vists and shopping trips.

All I have now is the weekend.  In that time I have more cleaning to do, baking to do and somehow I have to have some sort of fun.  Any suggestions would be welcome...

Why having dirty mind is a bad thing at the office

Earlier this week, the owner of the company I work for had been out to a  meeting, presumably about motivational sales techniques.  He was recounting a story to 2 people in my office while I was stood by, writing out a compliment slip to go with something I was sending out.  He was explaining:

"...so, they've got this poster on the walls, with a fist on it.  I asked why and the guy held his hand up, fingers spread and said "What's this?  Its an open palm, and all these fingers are separate.  But whats this?"  He held his hand up in a fist and said "Its a fist, all the fingers are together as a team."  So all these people are holding their fists in the air and chanting "Fist! Fist! Fist!".."

At this point, I burst out laughing and my boss and the two salesmen look at me in mock horror. Cue comments like "Young Lady!" (from the boss) or "Beth!  I'm surprised!"

I went scarlett.  In fact no, scarlett isn't red enough.  I went uber-scarlett.

But come on...really.  Can you chant that in an office and not get any sniggers?  Am I the only one who thinks that chanting "Fist! Fist! Fist" is more appropriate talk for an extreme gangbang than it is for an office? 

Maybe I'm just the only one who didn't know better than to laugh!